Kingdom Comes OOC Community

As September drew to a close, the transformation effects from the tainted water began to fade, person by person. It lasted longer for some than others, and even into October you may still happen upon the occasional hit of the potion’s effects. But, largely, the water has become completely safe to drink again. The wizard is still at large.

Incidentally, a lot of those who didn’t get hit by the Monster Transformation Event chalk it up to beer, which they claimed while drinking the beer, and completed drinking the beer long after the water is declared safe. Maybe the tavern wasn’t the best place to point out as an example of people escaping becoming fuckbears or whatever. ANYWAY-

October is here! The Kingdom doesn’t have Halloween, of course. That would be silly! But it does host a legion of religious faiths and cults with their own major holidays, many of which just happen to have a spooky tone. Not all of them, of course. Plenty are actually wholesome harvest festivals with a wholesome amount of fucking (ie: behind a haystack after a good round of dancing) or are ritualized excuses for convoluted orgies. But there is definitely an interesting venn diagram type overlap for spookiness, wholesomeness, and horniness going on.

And the way that you’ll be finding out about them is easy: THE HARVEST FAIRE! Outside the city limits, people of dozens of faiths will be pitching tents and pitching their faiths. Not in a boring way, though—inside the tents, the faithful are conducting rituals, dances, feasts, orgies, cuddle piles, drug trips, and occasionally actually communing with a real deity. They’re intended to be bite-sized tastes of what their cult/church/group is all about, and most of them don’t cost anything. Some of them are elaborate shows for small crowds and individuals, while others sweep you directly into the action for anywhere from five minutes to an hour. Why not give them a whirl?

In fact… you’ll find on slower days that there are a few empty tents available, and you, outsider, have had a number of at least passingly curious natives asking you questions about what “harvest holidays” you celebrated back home. Feel up to the challenge of training up some recruits to help you “sell” your harvest holiday to the masses? Or maybe you can just fabricate one to throw a halloween party or whatever for fun, I’m not your mom.

( OOC Details on The Harvest Faire )


In your journals, some new quests appear! What could they be...

The Harvest Faire
[ Throughout the month, various tasks relating to the Harvest Faire will appear. They are no more complicated or strenuous than volunteering to clean up after rituals, gathering supplies, preparing snacks, or helping them set up and take down tables or whatever. ]
Reward: 5g each
Quest Details: Complete thread of at least AC length pertinent to being a carny.

The actual harvest.
We go through this every single goddamned year, it’s another dang party and half the work hasn’t even been finished yet! You fucking people. Anyway, if those of you out there reading this have an ounce of civil responsibility in you, I have crops to bring to market, and not enough hands to do it.
Reward: 10g and two armloads of vegetables.
Quest Details: Complete thread of at least AC length. Have fun being attractively sweaty and a responsible citizen as you load up carts bound for the market or help keep an eye on the stall while the farmer gets a beer.

DO YOU WEAR UNDERWEAR?
Sure, we all do! But are you wearing the fairest underwear in all the land? Probably not! But you will be, and hopefully everyone else will too. Looking for models of all shapes and sizes to model our exquisite underwear around town, at the castle, and at the faire. Our underwear is so soft, you won’t think you’re wearing anything! And everyone else will wish you weren’t! Ha ha!
Reward: 15g and you can keep the underwear.
Quest Details: Complete thread of at least AC length. Character will have to walk around in public wearing underwear while the pantysmith’s apprentice accompanies you and does some town-crying to draw attention. You can wear shoes and other accessories, the underwear just has to be plainly visible and unobstructed. The underwear can be tame or wild in its appearance, but it IS exquisitely comfortable.

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Questions? Ask below!

So, in reference to this event- The way we’re thinking this works is pretty fast and loose. You can take on as many or as few monster qualities as you like. You can have some hooves or you can be an entire centaur, this really is meant to suit your tastes. It is also up to the player if you would like your character to take on traits of their chosen creature.

Perhaps being part horse is giving you a hankering for apples and carrots! But maybe not!

Throw your questions down here or ask me in the Kingdom Comes Discord Server

August has arrived, and with it that awkward time where it’s still summer, but it won’t be for much longer. The farmlands outside the village are full of folks hard at work tending their crops (some of which look entirely too phallic) or herding their livestock. The forest is alive with animals and insects, and people coming to and fro as they hunt, gather, and travel for business and pleasure through its boughs. Why not take a walk down well-trod paths, or explore off-trail? The forest is safe, assuming you don’t anger local wildlife or the supernatural critters that live in there.

And in the village proper, things are getting back to normal. Townsfolk are going about their business, commenting that the newcomers are good for tourism. And it’s true; all outliers will find themselves dealing with a handful of nosy passersby this month. Sometimes they just stare, smile, and wave; other times they come up and ask questions about where you’re from, what you did there, do you know any really exotic sex acts… and it’s only a proposition some of the time. They’re genuinely curious!

Guards and apprentices will certainly also get this treatment, but seeing as they can retreat into the castle when they’re not on errands or shifts, it may be less of a problem.

Speaking of which...

Lucky you, apprentices! Seeing as there’s a number of dignitaries in town right now, the Mistress has decided to actually give you degenerates some “important” tasks to do. While that mostly means doing standard household chores around the castle, she assigns all apprentices to clean and sort a few rooms in the cellars. No pilfering food or wine, she warns. Some of those cellars contain patches of mold that may make cleaning a more difficult task than anticipated… no, that doesn’t mean asthma for the apprentices. Unless you want them to, whatever, I’m not your dad. No, the spores have a psychoactive effect; the closer you are to them while cleaning, the more inebriated you’ll get. It’s not sex pollen, but what you want to do when you’re high in a place where everyone runs around half-naked and occasionally perform sex acts in public is your business.

And in the meantime, try to enjoy the company of the diplomats and ambassadors. Some of them are probably secret assassins, but most are just there to suck up to the Mistress. Individually, some are quite happy to dote on you, or even invite you to their rooms… but around the Mistress, they may be more likely to cater to her whims.

She, by the way, doesn’t actually trust any of you guards enough to assign you to important bodyguard roles. You can hang out with them all you want, but when it comes to watching over them, that’s not your job at all. Instead, she has you doing drills alongside new recruits under an officer. Jogging, exercises (in groups and with partners), and even an obstacle course. Amazingly, you aren’t naked for it, though it’s not like your uniforms are particularly helpful with keeping everything in place correctly and you are definitely not allowed to stop and adjust yourself. Less amazingly, dignitaries can often be noted watching from their balconies. Masturbating? Probably.

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Posted prominently at the center of the marketplace are a number of bills advertising quests and tasks. They also appear in your journals, because of course they do.

Available Quests

To accomplish a quest and earn coins, we ask that you either directly thread out the quest, or have it play a significant part in an unrelated thread in some way (IE: you’re interrupted in progress of performing the task, you ask a friend to help, the task backfired and you’re now cursed/injured/horny, etc). You may collect the coin on the AC after you have completed the thread. Though you’re welcome to handwave simple NPC conversations and involvement, if you would like a mod to hop in with an NPC or to offer you advice, you’re welcome to do so! Comment on this post at any point during the month to request NPC involvement.


Cursed Cow
My most prized cow was cursed by a sorcerer two weeks ago. When I milk her, she yodels in a powerful man’s voice and doesn’t stop until I’m done. It’s extremely loud, my ears hurt, and the neighbors are complaining. If someone can help me solve this problem, it would be really helpful.
-a Dairy Farmer
Rewards: 5g-20 gold, depending on the cleverness of your solution.

Words for Sex
I’m having a contest with my neighbor for who can come up with the best words and euphemisms for sex. It’s been going on for a while and I’m running out of ideas, but I refuse to quit. If you can submit me a page of your best ideas, I’ll pay for them. I live around the south corner from the market, in the house with the red and blue door. If it’s good, I might ask for more.
Reward: 10 gold per sheet of 15 good euphemisms. (Limit two per character)

Mushrooms?
I want weird mushrooms. Put them in the jar. It’s under your bed. It’s got your name on it.
Reward: 5 gold for a... labeled... jar... filled with weird mushrooms...???



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This post is yours for the plotting! Have fun! You're welcome to leave questions here.