TEST DRIVE MEME: The Third

[loveskulls]

SCENARIO ONE:
Uh oh, seems some magic went awry. Looks like what’s in your pants is a little— or a lot different than it was a minute ago. Your beloved genitals have been swapped with another in the area.

How will you know who has yours?

A little game of hot and cold, of course. You’ll get hot and bothered to where you can’t ignore it anymore by the time you’re standing in front of the current carrier of your junk. Found it? Great!

Now you just have to get it back on your body. To do this, you will be tasked to stimulate your familiar set of genitals until the current owner comes, of course! Be sure to get one another off around the same time, or you may have to go on the hunt again.

—At least that’s what the quickly slinking away wizard tells you.

SCENARIO TWO:
Seems your coffers have gotten a little empty. Good thing the local potion master will offer some coin for each draught you try. She claims she has gotten much too old to be trying new potions out on herself anyway.

Red: Touted as what is supposed to be a more powerful love potion, this will make the next person who sees you fall madly for you, so much so that they just want to be you. They will try desperately to talk you out of your clothes so that they may wear them.

Blue: Supposedly this potion allows the user to fly. Seems a little unevenly mixed… Upon consuming this you will begin to levitate, though primarily by a single limb or body part.

Green: A potion designed to help farmers; it will make unruly magical plants docile, even affectionate. This potion is perhaps too potent… The drinker will be utterly irresistible to plant-life. Hopefully you like them as much as they seem to like you.

Purple: The potion master promises more coin for this than the others. It seems to be a potion of compulsive truth-telling. Take a little too much and it will make you start exaggerating truths and feel unable to keep them to yourself!

Black: The crown jewel of the potions. Supposedly it makes the user stronger, faster, smarter, and all too eager to show it off! Seems as if the potion does not improve any individual quality, but it does instill a false sense of superiority and a hefty amount of exuberant arrogance.


SCENARIO THREE:
There are great prizes for those with the courage to compete! So promises the Mistress, at least, and you’re desperate enough to believe her. You will be herded into the courtyard, paired up and ordered to strip. You may be worried, you may be excited— to learn that you are now competing in a three legged race with your partner. Hopefully you and your partner are on the same page with wanting to still compete. There’s certainly no do-overs on partners. Better get ready, the race is about to begin!

Comments

Ciaphas Cain | Warhammer 40,000

[boldlybackwards]

Two
[Ciaphas Cain finds himself walking very quickly home, trying to take the streets he knows to be devoid of plant life. If he wasn't so desperately trying to save up, he wouldn't have agreed to this at all—and the test plant the potion-maker had reminded him so much of deathworlds that he would rather hunker down and wait for the effects to pass.]

[Unnnfortunately, he did not account for the fact that people, at times, purchase and plant new gardens. The once-dirt-lot that he hopped the fence into is now a fresh garden, and all the plants are grabbing onto him, climbing up him, curling around him...]

[Whether it's your garden or you're a mere passerby, this man who is swearing up a storm as he tries to fend off plants that are trying to- cuddle him. Probably? Let's hope that's all they want.]

Three
[Cain is a very tall man. That's his main concern—a three legged race with someone so much shorter than him seems like it could go off horribly, and this comes off as the least dangerous of all the tasks he could be doing to get a prize like that. Even if she's lying, at least it won't result in death, injury, or anything more than mild humiliation.]

[He's made to wait for his partner, and he decides not to undress until they get here and at least acquaint themselves with one another. It only seems polite.]

Three

[heiresy]

[His racing partner was at least similar height. He wasn't sure if it was luck or the Mistress' favor, but he was glad all the same. He probably wouldn't sprain an ankle today. At least. He gives him a calm, almost maddeningly neutral smile in the face of this ridiculous challenge.]

Well met. My name is Aymeric. Do you still wish to participate in this absurd little contest?

Aymeric de Borel | Final Fantasy XIV

[heiresy]

One
[In spite of how intrinsically awkward this whole deal was, Ser Aymeric de Borel was not about to walk around with someone else's genitals. That's what he tells himself, anyway, to fuel his search. This would have been a little better in his usual garb, but no, he had been just minutes off his guard shift when the magic whipped through the area. Clad in a thong, Aymeric was able to confirm his immediate worries with a simple peek. Using his new parts as a guide and a gloved hand to break others' line of sight to his current problem, Aymeric makes his way through the market crowd.]

[When he finds his partner, he will stop suddenly as if he had just found the exact length of his leash— He turns his head, takes a steadying breath, and tries to break the ice. His composure is somehow still intact.]

Pardon me, I believe you have... something of mine.

Two
[Aymeric definitely wasn't hurting for coin, but he had a bluff to call. He called himself an honest man in the tavern, and now he has a way to prove it. He takes a sip of this purple liquid, trying to swallow his grimace. Hopefully mystery potion and wine mix okay.]

Go on, ask anything. I dare you to try to corner me.

Three
[At least the trial was to happen in a closed area. He bites his lip, hesitating to remove any clothing. There were certainly things that he wanted or needed from the Mistress, but the cost to his dignity was potentially very high. He looks to his new teammate with a weary, sympathetic smile. He tries to rally both of them. After a moment, he finds his voice.]

I won't be upset if you wish to forfeit. Retreat may very well be less humiliating than participating... But I will not lie to you. I have a pressing favor to ask of the Mistress, and I would prefer your cooperation.

two;

[maledictus_semper]

Ask you....anything?

[Ardyn walked up to the boy, noticing his pointed ears. Definitely a new one. The question was....what potion did he just try and how was it affecting him? Ardyn hadn't tried any yet himself but would do since he did need the coin badly. Living without any coin in this world was very hard indeed.]

How long can you last before you climax? Hm?

[A dirty question. Why not? The boy did ask if he could ask him anything.]

Ignis Scientia | Final Fantasy XV

[anteojos]

.two
[Wether this was a deal or not, wether the payment was actually fair, Ignis had promised the old woman his assistance in the task. After all, how could he allow someone like her—of her age, to expose to the dangers of unknown, custom made beverages? It was terribly, stupidly naive of him, to believe it was worth the time and the efforts, yet one thing was certain, she assured: he would most likely come out alive of this.

And it was for a greater good, wasn’t it? Potions were no laughing matter. To his knowledge and experience, a single potion in the right time could save a life. This… well. She had warned him beforehand this were hardly the case after his remark, that these ones were farm from belonging to curatives supplies. But yet, at some point, they could still help someone, right? Say, improving… something, whatever?

Whatever was the case, the purple liquor was already sitting in front of him—flowery, feminine fragrancy filling his nostrils at the first sniff. Ignis could have swear it was lavender at some point, indulging himself into the soft aroma as he inhaled, his tongue beginning to feel loose, thoughts drifting to those certain things Ignis had been keeping to himself, wondering how it wouldn’t be a huge deal if he finally spoke out––wait.

By no means it was a good idea to let everyone know those. And it doesn’t take much for Ignis to deduct the source of all this was the potion itself, it's side effects wearing out as soon as he puts it aside. And it's alright, he thinks, until he is reminded of his promise. About how he was supposed to have. The. Sip.

A sip. It… couldn’t hurt, right? He would still have some form of control over that compulsive-telling-the-truth urge, right? And, just as long as no one approached him, he would have no motive to socialize, true? There's hesitation, but in the end it lands to Ignis, hurrying the lilac liquid down his throat, stern face when he places the empty glass on the table. That’s it. He had done it.]

[maledictus_semper]

[Ardyn hadn't spotted Ignis at the potion master's before, but not it seemed fate had drawn them together in this rather ancient and medieval world. By the looks of it, Ignis had just swallowed some of a potion from a now empty bottle in front of him. Such a pity if the poor fellow was poisoned....]

Ah, Ignis! What a pleasure seeing you here of all places. Did you enjoy....that?

[The Chancellor's amber gaze moving to fix on the potion bottle. What did he just take?]

Re: Ignis Scientia | Final Fantasy XV

[starless_sky]

<sub>[He wasn't sure what to think of this place. It was fun almost like a medieval fair or something but Noctis was sort of sure that it wasn't a joke. This place really was in the past. Potion shops and magical plants and wood and stone buildings... dirt roads... he was unsure where in the hell he was but he wandered around exploring.

When he saw a familiar face. He had heard about the potion testing, he wondered what that was all about. It seemed very sketchy but there sat Ignis. It couldn't be that bad, right? It couldn't be bad if Ignis was doing it so Noctis hurried over to him.]</sub>

Ignis! You're here too, when did you get here... what are you doing in here?

I'm glad I found someone, I've been alone.

[crimsonlight]

[And at that moment, Yenh bursts in through the door. Her arms are laden with a pile of logs with a weird fungus on them, all of which is disproportionately large compared to her small noodly frame. She lays them down on the floor with ease and exhales a single sigh of relief. It's only then that she looks up and notices the test subject.]

Oh! Hello! Are you here for the coin?

Ardyn Izunia || Final Fantasy XV

[maledictus_semper]

Two;

[Ardyn was a little wary and unsure when the old potion master offered him up a range of bottles to try for a decent coin. Different coloured bottles with different outcomes than the other. Who knew what magic these bottles held or what evil might befall him? Ardyn was a clever man and knew he shouldn't mess around with fate like this but something was drawing him to the red bottle. Besides, he had no money to speak of, so had to try something at least.

Lust? Love? Death? He had no idea what was inside, until he uncorked the stopper and inhaled some of the fumes. It was hard to tell if the bottle contained poison or not, yet would the potion master really seek to kill off her customers? Highly doubtful.

The Chancellor of Niflheim narrowed his eyes, as they flicked up to the potion master and back down to the contents of the red bottle. Steeling himself, Ardyn gulped down the potion in one swallowing hard.]

I must say I can't feel any changes at all. What a pity...

[He half expected to be able to fly, or become immensely strong, or even go invisible. Had he been fooled? Perhaps the effects would become more pronounced soon? Either way, he would gladly drink more of this red potion to be given more coins to bulk up his coffers. Leaving the potion master, Ardyn set off to speak to others.]

[heiresy]

[He hadn't seen that odd fellow around for a while, had he? Perhaps he had just slipped his notice.]

[.... Did he always have such a beautiful shade of hair? Was he always so handsome, so... well-dressed? Aymeric feels his face heat and his heart thrum as he stares after the other man.]

[Wait, he was letting him get away, damn—]

Chancellor! Chancellor Ardyn!

[Even his name tasted sweet on his tongue... This is so sudden, so true feeling that foul play simply does not cross his mind.]

Pray, wait for me!

Seishirou | Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

[sakurasandvampires]

Two:

[New worlds require currency. He's never bothered with that before but this seems like it's going to be a fairly permanent stay. And he will deal with the emotional turmoil that comes with being stuck and unable to complete his task later.

First... money.

The woman spouts off some vague information about all of the potions before him. None of it sounds great or something you want to put into your mouth but the dark haired man eventually settles on green. Not his favorite color but it reminds him of something.

At first nothing seems to be happening. He takes his coins and heads out on his way. He's looking for a tree. A very specific kind of tree... If he's stuck here they better exist. And they do (in this scenario). The sakura tree makes itself known by pushing up it's roots to curl around his legs. The branches stretch out and do something similar around his wrists and arms.

This is not the worst thing that's ever happened by a long shot. He's more upset that the blossoms of this tree are a pure unmistakable white. Clearly no one is properly taking care of sakura trees here... Well. At least now he has something to do. It's good to keep busy in trying times...]

I know, you're hungry. I can take care of that but-- [He moves to pull himself away but the branches and roots tighten around him pulling him closer to the trunk of the tree.] Wonderful... [Still not the worst thing to ever happen. But it might creep up there on the less desirable moments as the branches and roots move and curl and attempt to slip into his priest like clothing.]

[takenblack]

[Yenh isn't at all unfamiliar with sakura trees, though she knows little and less about them. What she does know is that this place has wood nymphs and ents—and that this fellow wasn't exactly making out with either one right now.]

[It could still be his "thing" to go about tree-sex this way, but she's always been far too nosy for her own good. She pauses.]

Pardon the interruption, but is everything alright?

[erodite]

[Naturally, he has to watch for a few good moments. He's always been fond of plant life, particularly the animate ones. So, seeing such a beautiful tree be so... affectionate. Well, it tickles him, to say the least of it.

However, the man involved, whom is so lovingly being pulled into its woody embrace, seems a bit lost on what's happening. Good thing Zanou'a is around to clear up the matter.

With a saunter, he makes his way over, tail bouncing quite happily behind him with each step.]

My, my. I have always been quite taken with plants, but never have I had one so taken with me as this one is with you.

I'm almost jealous.

[Is he being honest? Or just weird. Who knows for certain.]

[ignisvulpes]

[A man in apprentice garb happens to walk by at that time. He's stopped by the sight in front of him...

Although it kind of seems like he isn't sure where to look.]

The fuck did I just walk in on?

[And why is it kind of hot?]

Zanou'a Adveniho | Final Fantasy XIV; OC

[erodite]

One

[How... bothersome. Not so much what's required to regain his former genitals, but the fact this happened at all. The irritation doesn't last long, seeing how the more he thinks about it, the more he's quite intrigued in the adventure this will inspire.

Silently he stalks through the village, taking to heart the words the wizard told him in how to correct this affliction. As he passes by, seeking the tingling arousal the closer vicinity his genitals are supposed to inspire--he eventually finds the one.

Cutting in front of them, thus forcing them to a halt, he peers (likely) up at them, a questionably friendly smile crossing his face as he speaks.]

Greetings! Like as not, you may have what belongs to me in your trousers. Doubtlessly you felt something amiss between your knees, but blessed be, I know the cure for our shared affliction.

[Of course, as per a habit of his, he yammers on without taking in who or what the person is.]

Two

[Being an alchemist himself, he certainly takes interest in the potions being offered, but his skepticism soars like a dragon to the firmament when he hears he will be paid to try their brewed batches. Never has he paid anyone to try his, quite the opposite.

While an ordinary man might pass knowing something is amiss with this potion master, Zanou'a is no ordinary man. Instead, he finds this to be an interesting opportunity, and gladly he accepts the blue potion. Popping the cork off, and giving it a sniff, he decides immediately that his palate will not endure this swill.

But quite another will. He wanders away from the potion master, finding the next person he can, before placing a hand on their shoulder and speaking.]

Pardon me--

'Twould seem my tutor has tasked me with surveying the effects of my latest potion, but seeing as I must needs take the notes of the effects, little can I be the one to partake. Should you be amicable, and take part in this trial, your reward will ever be handsome indeed... pray, will you assist me?

[He does the spot on impression of an earnest student, not even wearing his usually douche pince nez either! He's a slippery eel, this one.]

2

[ignisvulpes]

[As someone who's been here for a few months, Kaphlar is wary of drinking weirdly-coloured beverages. For all he knows, that potion could make his dick fall off.]

How abooout... I save you the trouble of writing and take notes while you try the potion?

1, somehow ikar had evaded him till this

[saltyaxitude]

[Ah yes, a normal day in this new realm. A lovely new job, a terribly skimpy guard uniform and an inexplicable arousal building in his loins from seemingly nothing. Yep, normal. It was a real shame Ikar's new outfit didn't leave much to the imagination. If anything though, that was worth choosing to wear a concealing helmet with it.

He jumped at the sudden appearance of a miqo'te cutting in front of him, whatever fleeting thoughts he had about his scandalous outfit were a thing of the past. The voice, that questionable smile, that everything. Zanou'a. His shoulders unconsciously bristled as his inwardly panicked. He just needed to act casual and perhaps if he spoke in a lower pitch...]

W-what? Yer sayin' I have somethin' of yours? I'm uh, not sure what you mean...

Kanana Kana | Final Fantasy XIV | OC

[mamafell]

scenario three

[ well, ain't this a bleedin' mess. marooned in a faraway land, stripped of dignity and smallclothes alike - not that she's one to care, mind ye, spend long enough with one crew and "modesty" stops soundin' like a word proper - and then told she's to race on top of it all. it's humiliatin', is what it is, tyin' off a leg and limpin' like a well-bred chocobo.

but miss kanana's no idiot, no, ser. there's prizes on the line, and after a fortnight's drought she could well use a notch under her belt. so she's lined on up with the rest of them, nude as the day she were born and visibly unashamed. she looks up at the tallfolk she's been tied to, hands crossed under her chest, and spends a good breath doin' what she's best at: talkin' shite. ]

Cor, ain't that just like 'em? [ she spits to the side. ] Puttin' a Lalafellin lass like meself with a twig. Can't even hold on to a leg, ye'd just fall over.

scenario two (blue)

[ maybe drinking whatever she's been offered ain't the right way to go about life.

the thought comes to her about two minutes after she's run out of swears, which means it's been... a quarter-bell since she drank the draught? and hardly any of it spent in the market, at that. she's been floating by one foot the whole time, a good six fulms up by now - and thank the twelve she had rope in her pack, she always were the prepared one, and if she weren't she'd be in the clouds - just hovering like a right furious balloon.

six fulms up. that's smack dab level with a hyuran face. the thought occurs to her. this is how tallfolk see the world.

except those tall whoresons aren't upside down, tied to a sewer grate and floating in the middle of an alleyway, and that realization's enough to get her hollering again. anyone passing by will be confronted by the sudden, loud sounds of a "young" woman - well, middle-aged, at least - detailing the manner of ways she's going to brutalize a certain potion-seller in the near future.

it might not be in your best interest to interrupt her. ]

3

[ignisvulpes]

[Kaphlar Kinra looks down at the tiny woman. In his six-foot-five glory, he's pretty sure he must look downright comical tied to this... fantasy half-elf or whatever the hell she is.]

Hey, I've got strong legs. You never know, if everybody else sucks at this, I might just be able to drag us to the finish line!

Ceridwen the Gyre | Final Fantasy XIV | OC

[dynrskoglar]

TWO

[ Okay. Alright. So this may, in hindsight, have been kind of a really shit idea...

BUT IT SEEMED OKAY AT THE TIME??? I dunno man, what more do you want from her.

A free drink is just about the best way for a career alcoholic to start their day, so you can probably imagine how keen Ceri was to get involved in a scheme like "drink this Thing and get paid in coin!!!". Like shit lady, is that all? Fork that whole cauldron over and stand back. A little funky blue colour isn't going to stop her from shotgunning some fancy moonshine on any day of the week.

So uh. It was fine and all up until she found herself in the current predicament of

two floating arms

just

\o/

"Yep this is my life now. Remember me fondly."
Suffice it to say she looks somewhat less than pleased despite the joyful gesture it might be construed as. Even if she were given an antidote, how in the hells is she supposed to drink it with nonfunctioning arms? ]

[erodite]

[Maybe most people would offer some assistance, perhaps offer to find that said antidote, and help her drink it. Maybe. However, a person of such generosity certainly is not present, and so she finds herself only in the company than none other than THE MONEY CATTE.

Who is sporting a grin as he approaches her.]

Pray, my greatness is immeasurable, that much is certain, but this gesture for basking in my glory is a little overmuch, do you not agree?

Sadu Dotharl | FFXIV

[sadustic]

☾ || THREE

[ BAH. A race. Is that all?

The lack of clothing doesn't bother Sadu one bit extra aerodynamics, motherfucker. The Dotharl care little for the body, save that it be hale and hearty enough to engage in combat. The Dusk Mother knew her children by the light of their souls - little stars to be embraced in preparation for reincarnation.

Sadu, of course, is far more interested in eyeing the competition with a slightly worrying amount of predatory interest. Typical Dotharl - hunt the strongest of enemies, kill them. Rinse and repeat.

As for her partner, well...
She kind of. Doesn't really care very much. Victory will be hers even if she has to drag them along with her (and she is absolutely capable of such) if they prove unable to keep up.
That doesn't stop her from ever so slightly turning her head to pin them with a stare so cold it's a wonder winter doesn't come early. ]

Do not embarrass yourself by falling. I will not be dragged down by your weakness.

[magnaificent]

[He should not be surprised that the fates would laugh upon him like this. To first arrive in this world, then to be tasked with such a child-like competition, one duly below him—and as if that were not enough salt in his wound, he would be paired with none other than Sadu herself.

Truly he deserved better—Azim deserved better.

He offers her a likewise stare, one that burned like the righteous sun that filled his own soul, the glow of his limbal rings only aiding the expression.]

If any were to fall, Dotharl, 'twould be you. Surely you'd be better suited to clinging to my leg, for I will simply be dragging you otherwise.

Not that such dead weight would slow my victory.

francel de haillenarte; ffxiv

[haillenarte]

scenario two, red.
[francel drinks the love potion with an almost-defiant indifference — the disdainful look he throws the emptied bottle afterward is somehow a challenge. potion or no, he figures, no one could possibly love him.

he doesn't feel any different after having drunk the potion, so he shrugs and sets it to the side. his unimpressed expression speaks wonders: well? i want my gold.]


scenario two, purple.
[a potion of compulsive truth-telling, is it? francel's not especially enthusiastic about trying the purple potion, if only because he's not really accustomed to saying much about himself to begin with — but he figures it won't be that bad. he tells himself he doesn't lie very often in his daily life, anyway.

he takes a sip — only a sip, at which point the potion-master informs him that he will have to drink the whole bottle, so he chugs the rest. it's much worse than he expects. suddenly, he turns to you with a polite smile and says, very mildly:]

By the by, I've considered what my brothers would be like in bed far more often than I really should.

purple

[heiresy]

[aymeric, in full scantily-clad guard uniform, has been sent to the potionmaker's home to break up the crowd. once again he is very thankful for the stupid helmet that wears.

he is about to place a hand on francel's shoulder to tell him to move along. words escape him for a moment.

he looks at the bottle in the young lord's hands and back up to him.]

Allow me to escort you out of public, milord.

Virgil Alexandrescu | Original

[nobirdsallowed]

One

Oh god, oh dear.

This does not belong to him. It absolutely does not. Virgil stands in the middle of the street, mildly horrified, looking down his pants before snapping the waistband shut and shaking. Okay, what did the wizard say?

He was going to have to have sex with whoever had his actual junk, and he'd know when he found them. This was just shaping up to be the best day ever.

Blessedly it doesn't take too long for Virgil to find himself tugging at his collar, red in the face and hot in the balls as he runs across someone else who seems just as hot and bothered. He cannot exactly job in this state, but he does wave to them and whip out a notebook, shoving a page at them insistently.

'Do you have my penis?'

[heiresy]

[Aymeric looks at the paper, then the man. A bead of sweat drips onto the paper.]

Mayhap— [he heard what the witch said as well. this seemed to be a perfect match by description, but he also doesn't want to have to do this again, chasing his cock around the village.]

I may have yours. We should... Show one another, to be certain.

[he stands stiffly, trying to ignore his very obvious erection. Or, technically, was it the other's erection?]

Ikar Kestrel | FFXIV OC

[saltyaxitude]

Welcome to choose your own adventure! Do you choose 2A)

[Ikar already had a new job, now he just needed some extra coin. If he was to reside in a realm of debauchery he was not going to be caught without extra spending money. Now Ikar would happily drink a potion for free so being paid for it was a right up his alley. He was half tempted to offer to drink them all, but he figured he'd go the safe route for now.

After getting the basic run down of what each potion was supposed to do he quickly decides and downs the black one.]

Mmm. Bitter, but it ain't half bad. Oh yeah, I can feel it kickin' in already. [Don't mind him just doing a few test flexes, checking out his new strength... except nothing has actually changed.]

Alright, actually just give me the rest of yer potions. I can handle them.

[This is definitely a bad idea if anyone wants to stop him or maybe you're just here to make some coin too and this jackass is about to drink it all.]

Or 2B)

[Without any outside interference and an all too eager potion master, Ikar will definitely down the rest of the remaining potions. The purple, the red (after a comment about being both better than and desperately needing it's help with women), the green and then finally the blue.

Luckily he was paid before all the effects kicked in, but he didn't make it far afterwards.

He can be found levitating about two feet off the ground by his left arm, not too far from the potion master. He's desperately fighting against some morning glory vines currently wrapping themselves up and around his kicking legs. His movements seemed panicked, but his facial expression was pissed as he was trying to flag someone down.]

Hey! You! Yes you. As you can see I'm in a bit of a predicament here. I mean, it's an easy fix for someone as strong as me-- [Just causally tearing a vine away that made it up to his torso.] I just have a deep fear of seedkin along with this flyin' problem that's stoppin' me. Help a bloke out would'ya?

Catherine | Catherine

[wedging]

one

[Catherine doesn't waste too much time being shocked, appalled, or upset at the sudden new, unfamiliar shape nestled between her thighs. It's kind of funny, and at least it'll past the time. She's quickly off in pursuit of whoever's currently packing her package.

And then she's off again, and again...

Damn, she's just too efficient at getting people off. When she corners you, she's already accosted a few people, and she's feeling rather feisty. Without a warning, she's slinging her arms around your shoulders playfully.]

Hey, stranger. Let's scratch each other's backs...among other things.

three

Feeling confident? You better be. I'm ready to win.

[Whoever her partner happens to be, Catherine follows up her greeting by shooting them a cheeky grin. Then, without further ado, shrugs out of her clothing. Her barely-there-to-begin-with outfit. It's easy to let it fall down around her ankles, and she kicks it away without much of a care. In fact, she takes more time just taking off the white lace choker she wears around her neck before letting it dangle teasingly from her fingers. She gives her would-be partner a wink.]

Robert Small | Dream Daddy

[danielmcsturgiss]

one

[What really bothered Robert about this wacky place was how little it bothered him. For a skeptic-turned-believer, he really took all this magic bullshit in stride. He should pat himself on the back, or something. This Kingdom isn't exactly full of cryptids, but it is full of mysteries and that keeps him entertained enough.

Mysteries like why the fuck does his crotch suddenly feel weird, and what the fuck is that wizard talking about.

Great. A scavenger hunt for his junk. Sure. Why not. With a minor groan against the inconvenience, he's off to play hot-or-cold to try to find his swap buddy. It seems like cheating to start messing with the junk he got by accident, and he'd rather ask first, so he restrains his curiosity. For now.]

Okay, starting to get warmer... Where are you?

[Is he talking to his penis, or to the person currently weilding it? Only God knows.]

two

[Robert Small should know better than to try strange fluids for money. He should, but he very clearly doesn't. And he's out of cash and needs a drink. Desperation is funny like that.

So that's how he comes to be taking payment to drink this blue stuff, and to slowly start lifting into the air... by his left foot.]

This is not flying.

[He crosses his arms and snarls as his shirt starts to ride up (down?) toward his face, and his sunglasses fall off and smack him on the way down.]

Gotta reversal potion, genius?

One

[hauntpadour]

[Is Robert familiar with the Ghostbusters? It will be no less weird in this situation if he is or not. Egon sort of automatically knew something was wrong. One second you're in your hut preparing some cold cures, and then your pants feel exceptionally wrong.]

[He glances inside and- yep, that's the sort of bullshit that happens here. Time to go see who or what had his penis.]

[Thankfully, he seemed to be growing closer. And just growing in general, visible discomfort becoming more and more public. Big blonde dude, red faced. He sticks out like a sore thumb, which is probably good for them both.]